How can two people so beautiful have the worst sex ever? Now, onto Gannicus and Mellita, Part Two: The Quickening. Apparently, as traumatic and wretchedly awkward as the entire experience was, the two of them still fell in love. This forbidden Ludus love story from Gods of the Arena saw the champion Gannicus fall in love with the 'upstairs' help, and wife of his best friend Oenomaus, Mellita after the two of them were forced to bang in front of a Roman dignitary (while he played with his own 'horn of plenty') so that Gannicus could compete in the new arena. Gannicus+and+Mellita Man, was there ever a sex scene with Melitta that wasn't soul-crushing? She was like depression, with attractive nudity on the side. Warning: Spoilers for Blood and Sand and Gods of the Arena follow. DeKnight and the writers raised the sexual stakes for the show. You'll notice that this list is a bit Gods of the Arena-heavy, but I think that's just a testament to how much Steven S. Spartacus' Katrina Law on the IGN TV Podcast Sometimes the sex can be tender and loving (hell, in the first episode alone Spartacus got to have 'farewell' sex with his wife - TWICE!) and sometimes it just makes your brain melt and ooze out of your appalled, gaping mouth. Like, an important plot twist will happen right in the middle of sex! Because of the sex itself! Sex is actually used as a weapon for sure, but there are times when this show absolutely punishes the audience with astonishingly grotesque sex scenes that make one want to take a boiling shower right after viewing - just to try and wash away the soot and shame.

One of the great aspects of this show is that, a lot of the time, the sex scenes are quite integral to the plot. And sometimes their lives did depend on it! So, yes. These people knocked boots sandals like their lives depended on it. I mean, you'd think f***ing was an Olympic sport and that everyone was trying out for the team. Watch the trailer for Spartacus: Vengeance But - HOLY CRAP! - sometimes it's just really hard to ignore the rampant boning.

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